1400 - Issue: He said: (And when the boy reaches seven years of age, he shall be given the choice between his two parents, and he shall be with whichever of them he chooses.)
The summary of this is that when a boy reaches seven, and he is not mentally deficient, he is to be given the choice between his parents if they dispute over him; whichever of the two he chooses, that one is more entitled to him. 'Umar, 'Ali, and Shurayh ruled according to this, and it is the school of al-Shafi'i. Malik and Abu Hanifah said: He is not to be given a choice. However, Abu Hanifah said: If he is independent, eats by himself, dresses by himself, and cleans himself [after relieving himself] by himself, then the father is more entitled to him. Malik says: The mother is more entitled to him until he sheds his milk teeth. As for giving the choice, it is not correct because the boy has no [authoritative] speech and does not know his own best interest; he might choose the one who lets him play and abandons his discipline, or enables him in his desires, which leads to his corruption. Also, he is below the age of puberty, so he is not given a choice, just like the one who is under seven.
Our evidence is what Abu Hurayrah narrated, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave a boy a choice between his father and his mother. Narrated by Sa'id with his chain of narration, and al-Shafi'i. In a wording from Abu Hurayrah, he said: A woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, my husband wants to take my son away, and he has given me water from the well of Abu 'Anabah, and he has benefited me." The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to him: "This is your father, and this is your mother, so take the hand of whichever of them you wish." So he took the hand of his mother, and she departed with him. Narrated by Abu Dawood. And also, because it is the consensus of the Companions, for it is narrated from 'Umar that he gave a boy a choice between his father and his mother.
(1) In A and M: "ikhtarahu" (he chose him). (2) In M: "yu'rab" is a distortion. "Athghara al-ghulam" means he shed his milk teeth and his [permanent] teeth grew in; it is an antonym. (3) Recorded by Sa'id in: The Book of Divorce, Chapter: The boy between the two parents, which of them is more entitled to him. Al-Sunan 2/110. It was also recorded by al-Shafi'i. See: The Seventh Chapter on Custody, from The Book of Divorce. Tartib al-Musnad 2/62, 63. It was also recorded by al-Tirmidhi in: The Book of Judicial Rulings, Chapter: What has been reported regarding giving the boy a choice between his two parents when they separate. 'Aridat al-Ahwadhi 6/109. And by Ibn Majah in: The Book of Judicial Rulings, Chapter: Giving the boy a choice between his two parents. Sunan Ibn Majah 2/788. And by Imam Ahmad in: Al-Musnad 2/246. (4) In M: "'Atabah". The well of Abu 'Anabah is located one mile from Medina. Mu'jam al-Buldan 1/434. (5) In: The Book of Divorce, Chapter: Who is more entitled to the child? Sunan Abi Dawood 1/530. It was also recorded by al-Darimi in: The Book of Divorce, Chapter: Giving the boy a choice between his two parents. Sunan al-Darimi 2/170.
١٤٠٠ - مسألة؛ قال: (وَإذَا بَلَغ الْغُلَامُ سَبْعَ سِنِينَ، خُيِّرَ بَيْنَ أبَوَيْهِ، فَكَانَ مَعَ مَنِ اخْتَارَ مِنْهُمَا)
وجملتُه أنَّ الغلامَ إذا بَلَغ سَبْعًا، وليس بمَعْتُوهٍ، خُيِّرَ بين أبَوَيْه، إذا تنازَعا فيه، فمَن اختارَ (١) منهما، فهو أَوْلَى به. قضَى بذلك عمرُ، وعلىٌّ، وشُرَيْحٌ. وهو مذهبُ الشافعىِّ، وقال مالكٌ، وأبو حنيفةَ: لا يُخَيَّرُ. لكنْ قال أبو حنيفةَ: إذا اسْتَقَلَّ بنَفْسِه، فأكَلَ بنَفْسِه، ولَبِسَ بنفسِه، واسْتَنْجىَ بنفسِه، فالأبُ أحَقُّ به. ومالكٌ يقول: الأمُّ أحَقُّ به حتى يُثْغِرَ (٢)، وأمَّا التَّخْييرُ، فلا يَصِحُّ؛ لأنَّ الغُلامَ لا قَوْلَ له، ولا يَعْرِفُ حَظَّه، وربَّما اختارَ مَنْ يَلْعَبُ عندَه ويَتْرُكُ تَأْدِيبَه، ويُمَكِّنُهُ من شَهَواتِه، فيُؤَدِّى إلى فَسادِه، ولأنَّه دُونَ البُلُوغِ، فلم يُخَيَّرْ، كمَن دُونَ السَّبْعِ. ولَنا، ما رَوَى أبو هُرَيْرةَ أنَّ النَّبِىَّ -صلى اللَّه عليه وسلم- خَيَّرَ غُلامًا بين أبِيه وأُمِّه. روَاه سعيدٌ، بإسْنادِه، والشافعيُّ (٣). وفى لفظٍ عن أبي هُرَيْرةَ، قال: جاءتِ امرأةٌ إلى النَّبِيِّ -صلى اللَّه عليه وسلم-، فقالتْ: يا رسولَ اللَّه، إنَّ زَوْجى يريدُ أن يَذْهَبَ بابْنِى، وقد سَقَانِى من بِئْرِ أبى عِنَبَةَ (٤)، وقد نَفَعَنِى. فقال له النَّبِىُّ -صلى اللَّه عليه وسلم-: "هذَا أبُوكَ، وهذِهِ أُمُّكَ، فَخُذْ بِيَدِ أيِّهِمَا شِئْتَ". فأخَذَ بيدِ أُمِّه, فانْطَلَقَتْ به. روَاه أبو داودَ (٥)، ولأنَّه إجْماعُ الصَّحابةِ، فرُوِىَ عن عمرَ، أنَّه خَيَّرَ
(١) في أ، م: "اختاره".(٢) في م: "يعرب" تحريف. وأثغر الغلام: ألقى ثغره، ونبت ثغره، ضِدٌّ.(٣) أخرجه سعيد في: باب الغلام بين الأبوين أيهما أحق به، من كتاب الطلاق. السنن ٢/ ١١٠. وأخرجه الشافعي. انظر: الباب السابع في الحضانة، من كتاب الطلاق. ترتيب المسند ٢/ ٦٢، ٦٣.كما أخرجه الترمذي، في: باب ما جاء في تخيير الغلام بين أبويه إذا افترقا، من أبواب الأحكام. عارضة الأحوذى ٦/ ١٠٩. وابن ماجه، في: باب تخيير الصبى بين أبويه، من كتاب الأحكام. سنن ابن ماجه ٢/ ٧٨٨. والإِمام أحمد، في: المسند ٢/ ٢٤٦.(٤) في م: "عتبة". وبئر أبى عنبة: على بعد ميل من المدينة. معجم البلدان ١/ ٤٣٤.(٥) في: باب من أحق بالولد، من كتاب الطلاق. سنن أبي داود ١/ ٥٣٠.كما أخرجه الدارمي، في: باب في تخيير الصبى بين أبويه، من كتاب الطلاق. سنن الدارمي ٢/ ١٧٠.
